National Home Funeral Alliance Blogs

NHFA Conferences

Merilynne Rush — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 19:15:48 GMT

Dear NHFA Members,

Would you like to have a yearly NHFA conference?

Would you like it to be a large conference?

A retreat?

A joint conference with another organization?

A virtual conference?

Would you be willing to sit with other members in your region and log on to a web conference hosted by the NHFA?

Please let us know your thoughts and if you could help!

Thank you,

Merilynne Rush, NHFA Secretary and Events Committee Chair

teleconference call 11/11/12

Peg Lorenz — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 13:11:37 GMT

The conference call was attended by 12 members of the NHFA from 10 different states and two from Canada. After the introductions a couple of questions came up. One about how to organize the content of presentations. The other was about how to start after having been trained. Freddie from FL described how he presents information during a public presentation. Sandy from TX suggested forming a meet-up group which has been successful in her area. Before we ended Heather from MA described a situation she was anticipating tomorrow and asking for information and support. A young man, friend of her family had died that day in a car accident. She was informed that there were head injuries but that the family wanted a home funeral. We discussed caring for a body with those types of injuries, possibly similar to an autopsy. We gave Heather all that we knew and offered our continued support during this difficult time. The call ended on that note. Next call will be Dec. 9th, 8PM EST.

All Saints Day, Samhain, Day of the Dead

Merilynne Rush — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 13:35:28 GMT

Dear Friends,

Today is All Saints Day, Samhain, or Day of the Dead in Mexico. From the DeathCafe.com blog I quote:

Shokti Lovestar beautifully summarised why the Day of the Dead and Sahmain are so important for us: "This is the time to remember the dead, honour death and rebirth in ourselves, and is an opportunity to face our fear of death, move beyond that fear and know our deepest nature."

The hope is to increase our ability to live more fully.

Blessings to you.

New membership process

Merilynne Rush — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 11:26:01 GMT

As of August 2012 the NHFA has a new, simplified membership process that we hope you will find less cumbersome and more welcoming. Anyone may join; there are no requirements. We ask only that you contribute an amount that is affordable and generous to help further our mission to preserve the innate rights of families and communities to care for their own dead in a personal, respectful and environmentally sound manner by helping us create and sustain a network of ethical, responsible and knowledgeable home funeral guides.

If you have any questions or would like to give us feedback, please don't hesitate to contact nhfamembership@gmail.com

More information can be found on the "How to Join" link on this website.

Welcome!

Monthly member teleconference

Peg Lorenz — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 14:59:17 GMT

Hi,

I'm a little late in posting about the last monthly member teleconference that happened on June 10th. We had a smaller group than usual, six including me. But smaller in some ways was better as everyone seemed to feel freer to jump in to the discussion. Heather from MA and Sharon from CA called in from the FCA conference in Arizona. They gave a report about the various speakers. Bart Windham who wrote "Notes from the Waiting Room" and who spoke at our last conference was there with a new book (didn't get the name). Also a Funeral Director from Vermont, Randy Gardner, spoke. The speaker that generated a lot of buzz was Ed Howard, a lobbyist for the Center for the Public Interest. For those of us who couldn't go to the conference we will have to see if there are notes or recordings of the sessions.

Someone asked about how we find family-run funeral homes in our area vs the big conglomerates. Heather suggested we go to the FCA website, funerals.org and look at the funeral home price surveys. One of the questions in the survey is how their business is structured.

I brought up the subject of feeling like I am in a slump these days, working alone and not feeling like I have the energy to generate the next course of action. Everybody was very sympathetic and helpful. It's always nice to know that we're not alone. Olivia from CA talked about the big slumps that she has experienced. One strategy she has used is to "throw out an email to everyone I know and invite them over for tea". Get energy from others. She also reminded us that we are creating a foundation so that when the groundswell occurs we will be ready to ride the wave.

Charlene from WI suggested that one way to create energy around us is to have a class for people who are interested in getting deeper into home funerals vs just sitting through an educational presentation. She also inserted that she has an audio version of one of the sessions from our NHFA conference in CO. The Therese Shroeder-Shaker and the Buddhist monk sessions. You can contact her at info@thresholdcarecircle.org.

Thank you all for participating. I encourage all our members to check out this monthly call. It's fun and informative!

Peg

Membership Directory -- view by Last Name, or view by State

Donna Belk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 01:39:08 GMT

We've updated our Member Directory, and you can now few our members by Location (State), or by Last Name.

Click on "About Us" on the left to see the new layout for our membership directory.

This change is in response to requests from several of our members who wanted to be able to see NHFA members state-by-state. If there are more suggestions, please contact us!

Monthly Member Teleconference 4/8/12

Peg Lorenz — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:32:43 GMT

The Resource committee facilitated another member teleconference last night. We had a smaller group given that it was Easter Sunday. Attendees included home funeral guides and others just starting out. The whole country was well represented and included folks from CA, TX, MI, FL, PA and MA. The initial introductions are always interesting. It's wonderful to hear from people all over the country and exciting to know all the good work that is being done.

Discussions included questions from the Florida caller who is part of the Prairie Creek Conservation Cemetary and now he and a small group want to help families with home funerals. Callers gave him lots of resources and ideas for how to get started.

I spoke about the recent legislative alert that went out after a committee in the PA senate attempted to insert language into a bill which would have restricted a family's right to bring their loved one directly to a crematory. With the help of the Funeral Consumers Alliance and numerous calls to individual legislators the language was removed from the bill. A great victory!

The calls are a great way to connect to our larger movement. I encourage you all to check it out!

March conference call (please excuse errors, Mac I s not cooperating with corrections).

Carrol Reckard — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 21:47:14 GMT

During the discussion on Sun. Evening there was a discussion about groups to share and provide support to those providing care and support the end o f life. I am part of a, "Threshold",group in Pa. We share similar things like other groups but recently we have been using, "Undertaken With Love", as away to create common ground and now has lead us to looking at the purpose, affiliation and goals of the group. The booklet c an be downloaded without cost and we shared the work with 2 people taking responsibility for a chapter each month. We are being led in many ways and a wonderful and growing group has been part of the process. Although I missed a couple of meetings I still feel part of the process due to the guidance of the booklet and the shared e-mails from members of the group.

We meet monthly and have shared a an afternoon about caring for the body with the community and have a movie night scheduled.

Church affiliation for the group, State laws and structure availability, and financial considerations are just some of the exploration.

Board Retreat Feb. 3-5

Merilynne Rush — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:36:21 GMT

The Board of Directors of the NHFA will be having a working retreat Feb. 3-5, with the assistance of facilitator Patty Beach, in Austin, TX. We will be working hard on continuing to develop our organization and will keep you posted on progress. We welcome Peg Lorenz and Lee Webster to the Board!

-Merilynne Rush

2012 NHFA Conference / Working Retreat

Donna Belk — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 13:48:39 GMT

Announcing the 2012 NHFA gathering in Chicago. See the "2012 Conference" link on the left for information and stay tuned as we add more details. We're excited to explore new ways of gathering and think the "retreat" style planned for 2012 will strengthen and build on our community.

December Member Teleconference Call

Donna Belk — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:08:58 GMT

Last night we had our December member teleconference call. About 7 people joined the discussion. We discussed some of the legal issues that Canadians are facing, and also how the organization might want to investigate offering insurance as a member benefit.

The 2012 NHFA Conference/Retreat was announced with information soon to come on the web page. We also discussed the different resources that were available to members on the Member Resource page (must be logged in to NHFA site to see this page).

A piece spearheaded by Susan Oppie of Portland was highlighted in the teleconference since this involved the national organization, Hospice and Palliative Nurses Association. Best news of all, you can listen to the previous teleconferences by visiting the Member Resource page (referenced above).

Teleconference call report

Peg Lorenz — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:20:52 GMT

HI All - My first big teleconference and my first time blogging. I'm not sure how much detail to put in this blog. Do you want to know every every caller's name and everything that was said? Yikes! I'll start with an overview and you tell me what you think.

We counted a total of 12 in attendance.(Two from Canada!) A wonderful beginning. Heather Massey and I as the facilitators decided to leave the agenda open to see what folks wanted to talk about.

Three issues came up pretty clearly. First training, where it was happening and the cost. Three trainers were on the call and spoke about their offerings, Jerri Grace Lyons, Donna Belk and Char Bennett. We also included information about Nancy Poer and Beth Knox.

Certification of home funeral guides, always a hot topic. Not a whole lot of concrete information is immediately available since the Alliance is in the process of formulating a policy. That discussion will be ongoing I'm sure.

The last hot topic was how do we make a living doing this work. This included one caller who has a 3 week workshop focusing on advanced planning and the Five Wishes as part of her home funeral service. Great discussion about how we feel about doing this work and the decisions we all must make to support ourselves and the potential pitfalls of going too deeply into the legal aspects of end-of-life planning. One caller directed us to a Canadian website called Speak Up which is part of an advanced planning campaign started by their government (I think).

As we were going around with final thoughts and feedback someone said that the call was helpful on many levels but for her it had been important to be a part of a conversation that we don't get to have every day. I felt similarly.

I wanted to remind you all of our Mentoring Program. Heather, Donna and I are offering our support and experience to anyone who wants/needs it. Please see the Member Resource page for more details. There are a bunch more things I'm supposed to remind you all of but I have to go away and refer to an email I received and then come back.

Again, I look forward to feedback about my very first blogging experience!

Peg

Book: "Put the F-U-N Back in Funeral!"

Donna Belk — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:26:53 GMT

This book, "The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself," is a very funny, slightly irreverent guide to funeral planning. There is a nice section on home funerals and Erika Dillman (the author) spoke with Nora Cedarwood and me to make sure she represented the home funeral movement well. I enjoyed reading the book because it expanded my ideas of what could be included in a funeral, and particularly a home funeral.

NHFA 1st ever MEMBER TELECONFERENCE!!!

Heather Massey — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 22:13:02 GMT

Hello all NHFA members!

We, the member resource committee cordially invite you to join us this coming Sunday November 13th 2011 in the late afternoon/early evening (depending on your time zone) for our first all member teleconference. This is one of the newest member services/resources that was announced at the conference. Representatives of the Member Resource Committee will rotate as facilitators of these monthly teleconferences. Heather Massey and Peg Lorenz will be on the initial call this week.

Come one, come all! And bring your stories, questions, suggestions and positive energy to the meeting. Any and all topics "home funeral" are up for possible discussion. Let's start the dialogue, continue the discussion, and build our network by meeting up and sharing in real time.

Just go to Member Resources page here on the NHFA website to find:

your time zone and alloted time &

the phone number and pin # to dial in to join the conversation

Calls will be for just an hour.

Hope to talk with you next Sunday!

Heather, Donna & Peg

powerful narrative about coping with death through home visitation

Merilynne Rush — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 18:57:13 GMT

Three years ago my cousin's son was stillborn. His partner Lisa brought the baby home to say hello and good-bye. Her story of spending time with him is beautiful. The comments however, reveal our culture's fear and discomfort of being with the dead.
http://life.salon.com/2011/10/07/my_stillborn_childs_life_after_death/singleton/

Conference over, work continues

Merilynne Rush — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:31:46 GMT

Dear Friends,
What a great conference! Thank you to all the organizers, presenters, volunteers, and attendees. It was a great time of sharing.
Here is another place to share. Feel free to add a post and let us know what's on your mind.
Sincerely,
Merilynne Rush, Membership Chair

book recommendation

Merilynne Rush — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 03:21:42 GMT

I am looking for a recommendation.
An acquaintance lost a son to a rare heart disorder. He was in his early 20's. The grief is complicated because he also had multiple other issues, including drug abuse.
Can anyone recommend an appropriate source of comfort in the early stages of grief (books)? I will recommend hospice and other support groups also.
Thanks,
Merilynne

2011 NHFA Conference by Donna Belk

Cari Leversee — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 16:45:01 GMT

The National Home Funeral Alliance conference is Sept. 21-24, 2011 in Boulder. I have attended all three conferences and love the information that is shared. But more than that I love connecting and getting to know others who are involved in home funerals across the country. Each person has a slightly different perspective to share and I always get great ideas from talking with others over lunch or between sessions.

This year at the conference there will be a strong focus on Hospices and how home funeral guides can work within and through them. Personally, I see a home funeral as a natural extension of hospice and I volunteer for hospice in all ways that I can (visiting patients, Threshold Singing, Bath Angel, Pet Angel, 11^th Hour Volunteer, etc.). I'll be doing a special breakout session at the NHFA conference on how we, as home funeral guides, can interface with local hospices and serve them … but also use that as an opportunity to get the message out about home funerals.

Thank you,

Donna Belk

CrossingsCircle.org | BeyondHospice.com