How to Care for the Body
The ways that we care for a body change depending on culture, location of death, time of year, access to cooling devices, condition of the body, type of death, our relationship to the person that died, the relationship between us and who we are doing the work with, and even how we feel in the moment. This is a non-exhaustive list of the factors that may influence how a community cares for the body.
There is no right or wrong way. Care of the body can engage our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits in a compassionate fashion and can help to facilitate healthy grief processes. The purpose of preparing the body is to present the body in a way that honors the individual according to the individual’s wishes, as well as the needs of the mourners involved in the care of the body.
The idea of providing body care may be uncomfortable for many people. Because many in the United States have become so culturally alienated from caring for our dead, this is understandable. Those who do elect to participate in body care often find that it is not the mysterious and technically challenging undertaking it is made out to be.
There are conditions that can affect the state of the body that people may want to take into account when considering when to start body care. Some conditions include:
We will address these specific conditions as they arise in the sections below.
There is no right or wrong way. Care of the body can engage our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits in a compassionate fashion and can help to facilitate healthy grief processes. The purpose of preparing the body is to present the body in a way that honors the individual according to the individual’s wishes, as well as the needs of the mourners involved in the care of the body.
The idea of providing body care may be uncomfortable for many people. Because many in the United States have become so culturally alienated from caring for our dead, this is understandable. Those who do elect to participate in body care often find that it is not the mysterious and technically challenging undertaking it is made out to be.
There are conditions that can affect the state of the body that people may want to take into account when considering when to start body care. Some conditions include:
- Location in the house, such as proximity to a window,
- The number of people who will be in the room,
- Rigor mortis or injury,
- Whether or not you are cooling the body, access to refrigeration, air conditioning, or a freezer for ice, frozen vegetables, or a freezer pack,
- When the disposition is going to take place and where, etc.
We will address these specific conditions as they arise in the sections below.
Early Care
RIGOR MORTIS
Also known as stiffening of the joints and muscles, rigor mortis typically sets in within the first few hours, but does not happen in all cases. The degree in which rigor mortis is present varies from person to person.
This will affect the mobility of the limbs and the ease of moving the body so many people find it easier to bathe and dress within the first few hours. If you choose not to start early or don’t have the option, you can still care for the body in the ways described below. Sometimes people choose for rigor mortis to pass to begin care, which typically happens after 24 hours but can vary from 12-48 hours.
If it is not possible to wait for rigor to pass, it is possible to gently massage the limbs and gently ease them into a different position.
EYES
If the eyes remain open after death and you wish that they be closed, make sure the eyes are clean and dry and gently bring lids down over eyes and take the head off a Q-tip or a cotton ball and elongate the cotton to catch the lids and keep them shut.
Other methods of keeping the eyes closed include placing small bags of rice or sand (or other substance that can provide a little weight) over the eyes and keep in place until lids remain closed or to cover open eyes. This usually takes a couple hours. One thing to note is this method may flatten the eyes a bit and may not always keep the eyes completely closed. Funeral directors sometimes also use super glue, so you can also try this if that is something you are comfortable with.
MOUTH
Using a soft toothbrush, you may choose to brush and floss the teeth of the deceased. You may also use a cotton swab dipped in mouthwash to clean the mouth and put moisturizing oil or lip balm on the lips.
If the mouth is open and you wish it to be closed, use a necktie or long piece of non-slippery material (a scarf or cloth bandage like an Ace bandage works well, though it may leave an imprint on the skin), bring it under the jaw and tie a knot on top of the head. A second person is helpful in order for the mouth to stay closed while the knot is being tied. Keep in place until mouth remains closed without a tie. The time varies on this, though it usually takes 1-2 hours. It may be impossible to completely close the mouth in this way. If the mouth remains open you can try packing the mouth with flowers or herbs.
Also known as stiffening of the joints and muscles, rigor mortis typically sets in within the first few hours, but does not happen in all cases. The degree in which rigor mortis is present varies from person to person.
This will affect the mobility of the limbs and the ease of moving the body so many people find it easier to bathe and dress within the first few hours. If you choose not to start early or don’t have the option, you can still care for the body in the ways described below. Sometimes people choose for rigor mortis to pass to begin care, which typically happens after 24 hours but can vary from 12-48 hours.
If it is not possible to wait for rigor to pass, it is possible to gently massage the limbs and gently ease them into a different position.
EYES
If the eyes remain open after death and you wish that they be closed, make sure the eyes are clean and dry and gently bring lids down over eyes and take the head off a Q-tip or a cotton ball and elongate the cotton to catch the lids and keep them shut.
Other methods of keeping the eyes closed include placing small bags of rice or sand (or other substance that can provide a little weight) over the eyes and keep in place until lids remain closed or to cover open eyes. This usually takes a couple hours. One thing to note is this method may flatten the eyes a bit and may not always keep the eyes completely closed. Funeral directors sometimes also use super glue, so you can also try this if that is something you are comfortable with.
MOUTH
Using a soft toothbrush, you may choose to brush and floss the teeth of the deceased. You may also use a cotton swab dipped in mouthwash to clean the mouth and put moisturizing oil or lip balm on the lips.
If the mouth is open and you wish it to be closed, use a necktie or long piece of non-slippery material (a scarf or cloth bandage like an Ace bandage works well, though it may leave an imprint on the skin), bring it under the jaw and tie a knot on top of the head. A second person is helpful in order for the mouth to stay closed while the knot is being tied. Keep in place until mouth remains closed without a tie. The time varies on this, though it usually takes 1-2 hours. It may be impossible to completely close the mouth in this way. If the mouth remains open you can try packing the mouth with flowers or herbs.
Later Care
BATHING
The bathing of the deceased can be a simple act using soap and water or it can be an elaborate ritual using essential oils, prayers, candles, music or whatever is desired. It can take place on a bed or a table, indoors or outdoors. It is important to remember that once the bathing is complete the body will need to be carried to wherever it will be laying in honor. If prior to death the person was bathed thoroughly, minimal bathing may be necessary.
People often choose to bathe in order to prevent any sights and odors that the family/community might wish to avoid during the vigil, and as a symbolic gesture of loving, hands-on care that is usually the last physical contact the community has with the deceased.
If the bath occurs on a bed or table, cover the area with a plastic sheet, tarp, shower curtain incontinence pads, or any other material you don’t mind getting wet or dirty.
The items you use for this process can be everyday items that are used on a daily basis. Items used for bathing and dressing may include:
The bathing of the deceased can be a simple act using soap and water or it can be an elaborate ritual using essential oils, prayers, candles, music or whatever is desired. It can take place on a bed or a table, indoors or outdoors. It is important to remember that once the bathing is complete the body will need to be carried to wherever it will be laying in honor. If prior to death the person was bathed thoroughly, minimal bathing may be necessary.
People often choose to bathe in order to prevent any sights and odors that the family/community might wish to avoid during the vigil, and as a symbolic gesture of loving, hands-on care that is usually the last physical contact the community has with the deceased.
If the bath occurs on a bed or table, cover the area with a plastic sheet, tarp, shower curtain incontinence pads, or any other material you don’t mind getting wet or dirty.
The items you use for this process can be everyday items that are used on a daily basis. Items used for bathing and dressing may include:
- wash basin
- gloves
- towels, washcloths
- soap
- hair care products
- hair oil
- shampoo and/or conditioner
- hair dryer (for hair and body if needed)
- fresh sheets and pillowcases
- diapers/incontinence pads
- essential oils
- clothing/shroud/other covering
- razor
- tweezers
- lotion
- We find that a very effective moisturizing cream is called “Massage Cream” if you need a stronger product than most moisturizers off the shelf for this process (or: effective moisturizers are fat based such as lanolin, shea butter, or even butter)
- We find that a very effective moisturizing cream is called “Massage Cream” if you need a stronger product than most moisturizers off the shelf for this process (or: effective moisturizers are fat based such as lanolin, shea butter, or even butter)
Here is an example checklist you may use when washing and dressing a body:
Additional notes:
COOLING THE BODY
If keeping the body at home for less than 24 hours, turning on the air conditioner or opening windows to let cold air in may suffice. However, if the home funeral is to last for a number of days, other means may be necessary to keep the body cool in order to slow down the process of decomposition. Embalming is not required.
Some alternative cooling methods that may be utilized for home funerals include:
- Set up a table draped with a cloth as a space to wash the body.
- Prepare a warm water solution with soap and, if desired, essential oils.
- Wash genital and rectal areas, if comfortable.
- After a death, the bladder and intestines relax and urine and feces can be excreted. Wash and dry these areas thoroughly, putting on an adult diaper after washing to mitigate any future cleanup. You may wish to gently, but firmly, press down on the lower abdomen with a slight motion towards the feet to express the contents of the bladder and bowels. Some urine and feces may be excreted as the body is turned for bathing and dressing- this is normal! If it happens, just rewash the area. - Use a washcloth dipped in the warm water to gently wash the rest of the body from head to toe, paying special attention to skin folds and creases where skin is touching skin (can be the entire body or just limbs and head).
- Flip the body or roll to one side and wash in the same way on the other side.
- If desired, shampoo and dry hair, shave the face, provide nail care, and/or apply makeup.
- If necessary, clean and bandage any open wounds just as you would in life.
- If necessary, toothbrushing and flossing may need to be repeated at the end of the process after the body has been turned back and forth several times.
- Once bathing is complete, clear area of wet items and replace with clean, dry sheets if staying in place.
- Dry the body as well as you can.
- Dress the body in the chosen clothing, and drape with a treasured blanket or sheet. It is common to cut the garment(s) up the back and tuck the sides under the body.
- If doing a home viewing,it may be helpful to cool the body using ice or frozen items for the duration of the viewing, switching out as needed.
Additional notes:
- Considerations for cremation:
- Cremation needs to be authorized by the next of kin or designated agent and many states have mandatory 24-48 hour waiting periods between death and cremation
- Pacemakers: If the body is going to be cremated, crematorium staff usually will assist with the removal of battery powered implants if informed that the client has a pacemaker. Follow the crematorium’s suggestions on whether to remove any devices powered by a battery, such as pacemakers and hearing aids. Some pacemakers have wires that go directly to the heart, these do not need to be removed, only the battery. In order to remove the battery, make a small incision under the skin to remove the battery and cut the battery free from the wires. Same advice any implanted device with a battery.
- Many crematories have rules where you need to be the first people in if you are bringing your person into the crematorium in yourself. This is often because over the course of the day, there can be buildup in the crematorium that they don’t want families and people caring for the bodies to have to see.
COOLING THE BODY
If keeping the body at home for less than 24 hours, turning on the air conditioner or opening windows to let cold air in may suffice. However, if the home funeral is to last for a number of days, other means may be necessary to keep the body cool in order to slow down the process of decomposition. Embalming is not required.
Some alternative cooling methods that may be utilized for home funerals include:
- Techni-ice or other polymer refrigerants
- Dry Ice
- Cooling Vests or Towels
- Gel Packs
Support NHFAWe ask you to give to the National Home Funeral Alliance because in all 50 states it is your right to care for your own loved one after death. The NHFA is working to make sure communities and families know their rights. Please consider becoming a sustaining donor and help us continue this important work
|
|
NHFA |
Resources |
© COPYRIGHT 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.